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Carlos Tevez will not play for Manchester United. Of course it's not really 'Breaking News', especially after Tevez's comments after United's last home game of the season against Arsenal, what must be noted is that United did meet the asking price of £25.5 million. Tevez's agent, as quoted in most newspapers, decided he didn't want to stay at Old Trafford because he didn't feel wanted. Plus of course there are the rumours that Manchester City were offering him 75% more pay!

That means United have now lost two of their top scorers, and that means they have to go all out for goal-machines right? So, let's start taking names and linking them with United. There is Sergio Aguero of Athletico Madrid (The Daily Mail and the Guardian, £40-50 million), Karim Benzema from Lyon (Just about everyone, fee ranging from 25-35 million), and Ronaldo-Version-III Douglas Costa from Brazilian side Gremio (The Times London, 18 million). Iker Casillas was also mentioned (for an offer the Spanish mob Real just can't refuse), but I pray to God the tabloids were joking on that one. Seriously, I hope they just did that to get Casillas to say that he can't be tempted away from the Bernebau, which he has in fact.

And there's a new fashion in the footballing world. It's called 'Announcing your star player isn't for sale, but may go in case of a crazy offer'. Bayern did for Ribery, and the price shot up for the French winger. Lyon took the tip and did the same for Karim Benzema, and it looks unlikely that he'd go either. Valencia, who everyone thought at one point will be holding a fire-sale to make up for financial worries, did the same with David Villa, and that sparked rumours that Barcelona were willing to offer 50 million + Bojan Krkic, making the value so high that even Real Madrid said they won't be able to match the offer.

Arsenal, who completed the £10 million signing of Belgian defender Thomas Vermaelen from Ajax, are once again spending the majority of their time trying to hold onto their best players. On Tuesday Arsene Wenger said that Emmanuel Adebayor will not join cross-town rivals Chelsea, but just a few hours later there was talk of Adebayor being offered to both the Milan clubs to prevent him from joining the Blues. Meanwhile, they could be preparing a 15 million bid for Brazilian midfielder Felipe Melo from Fiorentina. News of the World suggests that Wenger has identified the tough tackler, who earned 17 yellow cards and 3 red cards in 26 Serie A appearances last season, as a perfect partner for Cesc Fabregas. It's also suggested that Philippe Senderos could be used as a bait.

Liverpool's defensive midfield duo is looking highly unlikely to be together next summer. Mascherano was said to be subject of a 35 million bid from Barcelona earlier this week, while Xabi Alonso's increasingly certain to join Real Madrid (for 30 million) along with Alvero Arbeloa. The reason? Portsmouth's Glen Johnson has chosen Liverpool of Manchester City and Chelsea in a £17.5 million transfer, which takes up almost all of Rafa Benitez's 20 million transfer kitty. Although Benitez wouldn't want to break-up the midfield, selling one of the two could provide him with sufficient funds to sign David Villa. The Valencia striker ideally would prefer to stay in Spain, but if he does move to England, he'd only go to Liverpool. At least that's what his Spanish national team colleague and Liverpool star Fernando Torres would have us believe.

Chelsea, meanwhile, are still struggling in their attempts to bring in big players to the Bridge. Brazil's Pato had reportedly asked AC Milan to allow hom to join his former coach Carlo Ancelloti, but nothing really concrete has come up yet. Chelsea do look favourites to get Russia's Yuri Zhirkov, but that's simply because Barcelona, Zhirkov's childhood favourite team, don't look like they want him. Barca do, however, want Ashley Young from Aston Villa, and face competition from Tottenham.

As usual, Manchester City were in the news each and every day. Roque Santa Cruz has signed from Blackburn, and Carlos Tevez looks almost certain to join. They also had a 15 million pound bid for Everton's Joleon Lescott turned down. City #2 goalkeeper Joe Hart has joined Birmingham on loan, in a hope to secure a place in the England line-up at next year's World Cup, while Daniel Sturridge, who was out of contract, has joined Chelsea. However, their is talk of a compensation fee that Chelsea must pay to City, which would be determined by a court of arbitration.

We'll end this version of Rumour-o Uno with a Newcastle joke. I know, I know, the club is already turning into a joke, what with all the relegation and the Mike Ashley mess, so how can it get worse for them right? Google Newcastle's new away kit. It is worse than relegation. Seriously. I wonder how Steven Taylor managed to smile in that picture. But it can help them though, since it could drive away a number of their players and bring down their wage bills. And also get them a few away goals early on in matches while the other team laughs. OK, enough talk, go Google it, it's more than worth it.

 

Photograph Copyright: James Adams